Monday, October 09, 2006

Blogger Identity

This post is my contribution to the first Carnival of African Women will be held on the African Women’s Blog on Monday October 9th.

I have been blogging since September 2004, more in the form of a lark and for my family, than a need to write about burning issues of the day. When my first non-family visitor posted a comment I was surprised because I had forgotten that I everything I transmitted to the cyber world would be read by “strangers”.

I am the quiet one in the family and have no liking for long winded discussions, arguments and conflict. I am also very private person, so what then was there to blog about? Certainly not my faith, my dating life or my personal life; these are too private to discus out in the world forum.

I do not blog about poverty, race, gender and justice. These remind me too much of my work, and much as I love it, I want to stop thinking about it when I am at home. A niece who works as a computer programmer, says that she does not blog because computers remind her too much of work. Much as she enjoys her job, as soon as 5 o’clock rolls along, she shuts down her computer and puts away everything that reminds her of work. She hardly ever e-mails!!! I understand her feelings every time I try and write a work related post.

I have been an activist for a long time and have worked on gender issues, and all manner of topics relating to African women, both in Africa or the Diaspora. Somehow, I find that I have no desire to discuss these kinds of issues on my blog. I have started many posts of that nature and have not been able to complete them. I suppose my blog is my leisure world, and once I am here, I do not want to change the world, or raise consciousness on this blog.

A young friend told me the other day that one of the greatest things about blogging is being anonymous. That one can say almost anything to the world, without revealing your identity. Of course it is easier to write anonymously – but I am always aware of the fact that my writing style (language, sentence construction etc) and even the topics I blog about can hint about me to the cyber world. I do not mind it, and actually think it great fun to mess about as Uaridi.

A while back, I had began a post on identity which had been sparked by the sci-fi TV show, Babylon 5, based the Vorlon question that "Who are you?" A question embodied on Vorlon philosophy, which encourages introspection, patience, and places identity as the proper motivator over personal goals. I did not post it since it revealed a stuff about me I was not ready to share with the cyber world.

For the purpose of this post, I am an African woman, and everything I am and I do has a bearing on this. I am judged, helped, encouraged, supported or hated, loved, liked because of my race, my skin colour and my sex. That I can not change (without going under the knife – WHY???). I am a Christian. This is my choice and I am so glad of this choice - a lot of what I do – work, leisure and everything in between is dictated by this choice. I am a dreamer, an artist and an avid reader – which I suppose is reflected in my blog. The issue of my identify as a blogger has not bothered me greatly – I remain who I am even when blogging, although my alter-ego does all the talking, this does not change who I am.

My blog is my alter ego – a place where I am learning about this new persona hidden in my subconscious, but not a place where I explore my subconscious, my reason for being, my faith, sexuality or politics. Although I must admit I enjoy reading serious blogs like Black Looks or Mshairi's poems or bloggers that talk about their personal life, although I myself am not able to write serious posts. Once in a while I will blog about these things, but mostly I want to write about life in general: things that amuse me, touch me or interest me.

To end this long winded discussion on identity, I have a private thought to share that comes to me every time I see a perfect rose. I often wish I could be as beautiful as that rose and for that brief moment of its flowering, I would glorify God with my whole being.

(The photo of the rose is from Wikipeida gallery)


Blogger MugwumpMom said...

Which is why I like reading your blog! Congratulations on the "Carnival"..will drop by for sure.


10/10/2006 02:46:00 am  
Anonymous mshairi said...

So, did you ever manage to answer that question: Who Are You? (I miss Babylon 5!)

Thanks for submitting your post to the carnival - it was fun to read.

10/10/2006 09:11:00 pm  
Blogger Stephen Bess said...

You may not have revealed much of your personal life in your blog, but I have come to the conclusion that you are a wonderful person. Hello, sis! :)

10/11/2006 07:47:00 pm  
Blogger modoathii said...

this is a serious read. and it's great. begs us to ask many questions, especially about that person inside all of us who always wants to break out.

the blog is where the inner us is allowed to get out and roam (under a leash). he's either the red devil or the angel. sometimes both.

that's why i'm stuck on my couch. i feel free.

who am i? i always ask too.

10/12/2006 11:08:00 am  
Blogger iamnasra said...

It is so touching to read your thoughts...I wish I can stand to be like you..Im trying to learn and feel my way through in between two world of being mixed and understanding how it feels to be african and how it feels to be an arab at one go..Im thankful to my Dad who always took me back to Zanzibar. But now I went back on my own to Tanzania I truely felt proud to be african its not about what I can take from Tanzania but its about what can I give to this land

10/16/2006 07:07:00 am  
Blogger Malini said...

I found your blog to be very interesting, specially when you talk about not changing your identity as a blogger.

I am still keen to find out if bogging leads to cultural and social identity reconstruction?

10/16/2006 03:43:00 pm  
Blogger Brother Jero (BJ) said...

I respect anything that has to do with Women for the woman is indeed the pillar that we all stand on...

Be strong Auntie, you know we love you...

10/19/2006 01:45:00 pm  
Blogger iamnasra said...

Have you got my email regards LIP ...Would be honoured to write about the carnaval and your poetry in LIP...let me know

10/24/2006 06:44:00 pm  
Blogger Klara said...

I have this feelin that "UMEPOTEA SANA"..
Wow! since 04 , it makes feel so new in blogger!!

11/01/2006 03:08:00 pm  
Blogger Brother Jero (BJ) said...

You know I will support anything to do with women for without them this world would be doomed...

Take care auntie..

11/07/2006 07:50:00 pm  

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